Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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