Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
