This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I want to be your penis for a week.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
