just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
