the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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