Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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