are you so shy because you have an std?
they need to just BURY HIM!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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