the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
