my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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