yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
