Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
