So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm both gender and math confused
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
