I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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