dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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