she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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