The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
