I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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