Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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