So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
