from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
