I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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