Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
