$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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