It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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