Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
