I'm really into asian looking animals
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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