Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
