I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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