Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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