Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
