Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
