It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
high people should be assigned attendants
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
