Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
