Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
