So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
