did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
