just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I love having hate sex.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
