Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize