Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
