garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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