The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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