Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
