How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
