I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I touched a dick in church today
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
