I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
nutella sex= disaster
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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