ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize