he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Is it because I queefed?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
