I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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