Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
