I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
