Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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