i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
