I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize