At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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