??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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