Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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