I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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