Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
