Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
