need another drink. this is the easiest way
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I love having hate sex.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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