that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
