The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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