She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
