In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
