Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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