So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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