We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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