These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Tornado booty call.. dedication
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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