sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
