apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
