I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
