its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
