But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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