WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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