Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
