I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do vagina's smell?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize