Nicole vs. Life
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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