k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
