I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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