it was like his penis was on wheels.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
