she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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