We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well I just put wine in my tea
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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