I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
sex in a hospital.. check
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
