I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I am available for nakedness
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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