Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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