Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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